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My life had always been full of anxiety and fear. All my actions were to be recognized by others. The life I have lived has never been able to achieve peace and happiness. Hence, I wanted to find the primary cause of problems, and began to look for myself in suffering. Finally I discovered that I was a covert narcissist. I then was deeply shocked to find true myself in my life, which I had never known. The sadness I suffered after traumas that affected my life was indescribable.
My works record the training process of self-reflection that visualizes and removes the intangible insides of things. Through my work, I could face the forgotten self that I had grown up with in the history of my life. The scene was a depressed one, filled with sorrow and loneliness and I wanted to soothe, and free my pain. For each piece of work, I have shed my anguish hundreds and thousands of times. Throughout such process, I had a feeling of training, one step closer to what I should have been before suffering.
In a way, I would say that what I am doing today is more meaningful to me than the visible piece I complete. At the moment of working on my work, as I am training, I am gradually feeling happiness and courage that I have never felt before. I am now training.
My life had always been full of anxiety and fear. All my actions were to be recognized by others. The life I have lived has never been able to achieve peace and happiness. Hence, I wanted to find the primary cause of problems, and began to look for myself in suffering. Finally I discovered that I was a covert narcissist. I then was deeply shocked to find true myself in my life, which I had never known. The sadness I suffered after traumas that affected my life was indescribable.
My works record the training process of self-reflection that visualizes and removes the intangible insides of things. Through my work, I could face the forgotten self that I had grown up with in the history of my life. The scene was a depressed one, filled with sorrow and loneliness and I wanted to soothe, and free my pain. For each piece of work, I have shed my anguish hundreds and thousands of times. Throughout such process, I had a feeling of training, one step closer to what I should have been before suffering.
In a way, I would say that what I am doing today is more meaningful to me than the visible piece I complete. At the moment of working on my work, as I am training, I am gradually feeling happiness and courage that I have never felt before. I am now training.
에러
나의 삶은 항상 불안감과 두려움이 가득하였으며 나의 모든 행동들은 누군가로부터 인정을 받기 위한 행동으로만 이루어졌었다. 내 삶은 결코 평안과 행복을 얻을 수 없는 삶이었다. 그러기에 문제의 근본적 원인을 찾고 싶었고 고통 속에서 나를 찾기 시작하였다. 그러던 중 나는 내현적 자기애(covert narcissism) 속의 사람인 것을 발견하게 되었다. 그 후 나는 지금 것 살아오면서 미쳐 알지 못했던 현재의 나의 모습을 발견 했음에 깊은 충격과 공포를 받았으며, 내 모습에 영향을 끼쳤던 트라우마들을 찾아가면서 다가온 슬픔은 이루어 말할 수 없었다.
나의 작품은 유형의 겉 모습이 아닌 무형의 내면들을 가시화 시키고 걷어내는 자아성찰의 수련 과정을 기록하는 것이다. 나는 작업을 통해 나의 역사 속 함께 자라온 망각된 자아를 정면으로 마주할 수 있게 되었다. 그 모습은 슬픔과 미련, 아픔과 외로움 들이 가득 뒤엉켜있는 안타까운 모습이었다. 그 모습을 어루만져 주고 싶었고 자유롭게 해주고 싶었다. 한 작품마다 나는 수백 번 수천 번 번뇌를 탈피하였다. 그리고 나는 고통 받기 전 나였어야 할 모습에 한걸음씩 다가가는 수련적인 느낌을 받았다.
어찌 보면 작품으로 완성된 이미지 보다 지금 내가 하고 있는 행위 자체가 나에게는 더 큰 의미가 있다고 말하고 싶다. 작업을 하고 있는 지금 이 순간, 수련을 하고 있는 순간에 지금까지 느낄 수 없었던 행복과 용기를 점차 느껴가고 있기 때문이다. 지금 나는 수련 중이다.
Have a Singularity
특이점이 오다
2020
73 x 48 cm (Acrylic Paint Markers on Printed Canvas)
The First Difficulty
첫 번째 난관
2020
35 x 53 cm (Acrylic Paint Markers on Printed Canvas)
His space
그의 공간
2020
130 x 87 cm (Acrylic Paint Markers on Printed Canvas)
ERROR1
에러1
2020
73 x 48 cm (Acrylic Paint Markers on Printed Canvas)
EXIT
탈출구
2020
73 x 48 cm (Acrylic Paint Markers on Printed Canvas)
Spring, I waited for you.
봄, 나는 너를 기다렸어
2020
53 x 35 cm (Acrylic Paint Markers on Printed Canvas)
Hotel HERA
2020
53 x 35 cm (Acrylic Paint Markers on Printed Canvas)
Damn it !
우쒸!
2020
78 x 117 cm (Acrylic Paint Markers on Printed Canvas)
A moment with others
타인들과의 순간
2020
53 x 35 cm (Acrylic Paint Markers on Printed Canvas)
Whoosh!
슈우~ㄱ!
2020
53 x 35 cm (Acrylic Paint Markers on Printed Canvas)
I'm a hero….
나는 영웅이다…
2020
53 x 35 cm (Acrylic Paint Markers on Printed Canvas)
What are you doing?!
뭐하는 짓이야?!
2020
53 x 35 cm (Acrylic Paint Markers on Printed Canvas)
Sneak, sneak, sneak, sneak ... BOO!!!
살금살금살금살금... 왘!!!
2020
53 x 35 cm (Acrylic Paint Markers on Printed Canvas)
2020
53 x 35 cm (Acrylic Paint Markers on Printed Canvas)
2020
53 x 35 cm (Acrylic Paint Markers on Printed Canvas)
2020
53 x 35 cm (Acrylic Paint Markers on Printed Canvas)
2020
53 x 35 cm (Acrylic Paint Markers on Printed Canvas)
Atlas
아틀라스
2020
53 x 35 cm (Drawing on Pigment Print)
Sometimes I fall. What's the problem?
어쩌다가 넘어질 수도 있지. 뭐가 문제야?
2020
35 x 53 cm (Acrylic Paint Markers on Printed Canvas)
third eye
제3의눈
2020
53x 31 cm (Acrylic Paint Markers on Printed Canvas)
Let me go !
나를 놓아주시오 !
2020
146 x 97 cm (Acrylic Paint Markers on Printed Canvas)
Threshold point
한계점
2020
53 x 35 cm (Acrylic Paint Markers on Printed Canvas)
Bring it on !
덤벼라 !
2020
61 x 91 cm (Acrylic Paint Markers on Printed Canvas)
TAXI
2020
53 x 35 cm (Acrylic Paint Markers on Printed Canvas)
An innocent sinner
무죄인
2020
53 x 35 cm (Acrylic Paint Markers on Printed Canvas)
And he locked me in the bin.
그리고 그는 나를 뒤주 속에 가두었다.
2020
53 x 35 cm (Acrylic Paint Markers on Printed Canvas)